Body Language
© 2006 GypsyJaguar
You don't have to have enhanced psychic abilities to "read" other people. If you want to know how the people around you are thinking or feeling, all you need to know is how to interpret their body language.
One of the many interesting things your body does is completely give all of your secrets away. The signals your body sends out subconsciously are subtle hints to what you are thinking or feeling. These are reactions your body makes in response to what you are being told or shown.
Your body is like a live pendulum, or dowsing rod. When you are in agreement with what you are hearing or seeing, your body instinctively leans forward. When in disagreement, your body will lean back. It's more noticeable while standing, and the more relaxed you are, the smoother the response, so stand and relax your body with a few slow, deep breaths. Now, ask yourself a few questions and notice how your body leans forward, backward or stays neutral.
When you begin to realize how many unique and quirky ways your body will 'tell on you', you may be so conscious about how you react, physically, to others, that you may feel a little over-exposed. Just remember, it's only you, alone, who are consciously aware of it. And just think of how fun it will be studying everyone else you know, to see what THEIR bodies are telling about how THEY feel!
One of the first questions people ask while learning about reading body language, is "How can you tell when people are lying or hiding something from you?"
There are two sides of your brain which control opposing sides of your body; a right hemisphere and a left hemisphere. The right hemisphere controls imagination, artistic abilities, visualization, face-recognition, the sub-conscious mind and the left side of the body. The left hemisphere controls facts and figures, memory recall, reality, analytical and logical thinking, the conscious mind and the right side of the body.
When a person is lying, they are searching their brain for an imaginative story to tell, so they may turn their eyes toward their left (your right when you are facing them) to access the imaginative side of their brain. It's usually a quick movement if they are really good at it. Sometimes people may look to their left to add some entertaining bits into their story, not actually out and out lying, but filling in the gaps with some imaginative flavor, so keep these things in mind.
If a person moves their eyes to their right they are generally just searching their memory banks for the correct answer, so any eye movement isn't necessarily a hint that they aren't truthful. Some people can look you straight in the eyes when they lie, they have had so much practice telling their stories, so be sure to pay close attention to other movements that may give them away.
If someone is not ready to speak they may hold their pen in their mouth or bite their lip. If they start playing with their glasses, if they wear them, or rubbing the bridge of their nose, they may be trying to buy extra time to think of an answer.
If you notice a person blinking excessively, shifting around in their chair, or constantly tugging on their clothes, it means they are very nervous. Some may be nervous because they are hiding things, but others may just be nervous personality types. People who are nervous or anxious may also tend to either clench their hands tightly together, or wring them against each other. Another nervous habit is jingling keys or change in their pockets, although this may also indicate a preoccupation with money.
Those who are definitely hiding something are very likely to hide their hands, most likely, by keeping them in their pockets. If a person habitually keeps their hands in their pockets, even when they are not in cold temperatures, they may be keeping a lot of secrets to themselves.
Some nervous individuals may tend to look at the floor, avoiding direct eye-contact. If they look at the floor and seem to have poor posture, they may be very introverted. A slouching posture is a sign of low self-esteem. But, if their eyes are often looking down and unfocused, and they are slouching, it is possible that this person may have had something traumatic happen to them in the past and are very nervous and unsure around other people.
Some nervous individuals may tend to look at the floor, avoiding direct eye-contact. If they look at the floor and seem to have poor posture, they may be very introverted. A slouching posture is a sign of low self-esteem. But, if their eyes are often looking down and unfocused, and they are slouching, it is possible that this person may have had something traumatic happen to them in the past and are very nervous and unsure around other people.
One fascinating look is the "I didn't do it!" look. The chin is pulled slightly in, with the head tilted down, in a denial pose, as the eyes look wide and up at you. This look can be practiced and used as a defense for actual guilt. But, it is also very common with people who have been scolded often...for things they did or did not do. So, if the person thinks they are about to be confronted or yelled at for something, whether they did it or not, they will automatically react with this look of pity for their innocence. To tell the difference; check the eyes for forced sincerity versus fear.
People often steer clear of individuals that have low self esteem, or had something traumatic happen to them, because they are mistakenly viewed as 'shady individuals' because they don't make direct eye-contact and may tend to have other nervous quirks, as well. With practice, you will be able to tell the difference between who is hiding something versus who is just a nervous or insecure person. |
Generally, people who have absolutely nothing to hide, will express it with very open, yet relaxed body language. They may stand or sit with a relatively straight, yet relaxed posture, a strong chest and look you directly in the eyes.
If a person is leaning in toward you, it means that they are very interested in and agree with (or believe in) what you are talking about, or very interested in you, as a person. They may also have that little thinking position....having their fingers near their temple or under their chin. When someone keeps eye-contact with you, they are focused entirely on you. If they are looking past you, at everything or everyone else, they are more interested in what they are looking at. If they act overly dramatic as they are looking around, but still talking to you, then they are trying to show-off for someone else. |
Notice a person's feet while they are talking with you. If they are completely interested in the conversation, they will have both feet on the ground, pointing toward you, whether sitting or standing. If they have one foot toward you and one foot pointing away, then they are interested, but ready to move on at the precise timing. Of course, be sure to note if others are in the conversation, as the feet may be pointing toward them as well, or in a position to include everyone.
A classic confidence and power stance is standing with your legs apart with both feet on the ground. A lot of people do this as they either cross their arms or put their hands on their hips. Hands on your hips would be more of an open move than the crossing arms.
If someone is not open to hearing what you have to say, or are trying to block your words or energies, they will generally cross one or both extremities at the arms, wrists, legs, or ankles. Many people feel very comfortable in this stance (especially crossing the arms in front of the chest) because it gives them a feeling of security and protection. |
When somebody does not agree with or believe in something you have to say, they will generally reel back in their seats or take a few steps away from you. Some people may also pull their chins quickly in toward their body as their head slightly reels back. Any backward-thrusting reaction or looking away is an indication of denial and/or disbelief of what the person is seeing or hearing.
It should be fairly simple to remember these different bodily movements, as they are all literal actions of what people are subconsciously saying. For example; when a person slaps their hand(s) over their mouth when they want to say something they don't dare, or accidentally said something they shouldn't have, that's a classic move everyone knows that literally says they are trying to keep their mouth shut.
Some people play repeatedly with their ear when they want to stop listening to you and want to speak themselves. If a person grabs your arm, they are wanting to interrupt you to say something. If they are already talking, they want to connect with you emotionally. And remember that someone who rubs their hands a lot is very expectant, as well. |
People generally lean or tilt their heads to their left when they are sympathizing or empathizing with you. Individuals who tend to do this regularly, are excellent listeners and very compassionate; always connecting with others on an emotional level. You may often catch them standing with their weight on their right foot, with their left open and loose. If they tilt their heads to their left and forward, chin down, they are more in need of understanding and compassion.
Those who are more assertive will lean or tilt their heads to their right. This usually occurs when someone is trying to enforce their opinion or dominance, in some way. These individuals will often be seen standing with their weight all on their left foot, closing off the receptive side of the body and opening the projective side, ready to take action. If they tilt their heads to their right, with their chin pulled in, it is a skeptical or critical look.
Those who are more assertive will lean or tilt their heads to their right. This usually occurs when someone is trying to enforce their opinion or dominance, in some way. These individuals will often be seen standing with their weight all on their left foot, closing off the receptive side of the body and opening the projective side, ready to take action. If they tilt their heads to their right, with their chin pulled in, it is a skeptical or critical look.
And for the last bit of bodily clues to aid in watching the people around you: If an individual often looks up when they're thinking... they prefer visual stimulation. If an individual often looks to the sides (toward their ears)... they prefer auditory stimulation (talking, music, rhythms, etc.) If an individual often looks down... they prefer emotional connections, like touching, hugging or other physical hands-on actions.
Also see:
Social Savvy - The People Around Us and What They Can Teach Us - Body Language - The Tell-Tale Walk - The Company We Keep - A Bit of Advice - A Matter of Perspective - Being A Good Friend - How To Truly Help Others - Courtesy and Respect - End the Drama Once and For All - Nice Is Not Always Kind - Toxic Relationships
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