Dealing with Issues
© 2011 GypsyJaguar
A very important step in becoming a more balanced individual is to deal with our own personal issues. Overcoming our own issues will allow us to react to others' negativity, or unresolved issues, with calmness, understanding, peace and love.
When we feel we may be stuck in a negative state of mind, a "funk", or just feeling a bit "off", we are actually subconsciously sorting out our thoughts about some issue(s) we have. These are generally several past experience memories triggered by a present experience dealing with the same issue(s).
Our issues are intricately woven together with every experience that resonates with the same energy, since birth. Issues can be handed down from previous generations, as well. This is caused by an emotional trauma in which the person has never consciously dealt with. The issues that are present affect the frame of mind of the person, therefore revealing themselves in their belief system and code or morals in which they live by and teach their children to live by.
For example; say your father was cheated out of his life's savings by a close friend he went into business with and he never resolved his feelings about it. This would lead him to have trust issues that he would hand down to you, by teaching you to be overly cautious of what others say, be more distrusting and showing distrust of others through his actions and responses, in which you would naturally learn from by example. |
Any issues we face are merely hidden lessons set up to teach us inner truths about ourselves, others, and life in general. Some of these lessons may simply be reminders of some basic spiritual truths, like treating others the way we would like to be treated in return. Many situations are arranged to help us learn how to stand up for ourselves and what we believe in. They may be an opportunity for us to enforce some personal boundaries or speak up about a topic important to us. Some lessons may also be about exposing us to the dark and ugly sides of our true selves... our shadow side. We recognize these aspects of ourselves in others and project hatred toward them for the disgust we feel about our own inadequacies, character flaws or unsavory behaviors.
How to Identify an Issue
- You feel an overwhelming aversion to something, the topic causes you a great deal of anxiety, irritability or anger. - You are deeply emotionally affected by talking about an experience, or witnessing another's experience of a similar nature. - A topic makes you cry uncontrollably (sobbing, bawling, etc.) |
How to Deal with an Issue
When you feel like you have discovered an issue, the first step to take to heal that issue is to write down your feelings about it. Nobody else has to see what you've written, you can even destroy it afterward. The point is to get these feelings out.
After you've written all of your feelings about your issue, read it over and think about why you may feel the way you do about it. Remember that these feelings are yours and you have every right to feel the way you do. Feelings are simply our programmed reactions to experiences.
After you've written all of your feelings about your issue, read it over and think about why you may feel the way you do about it. Remember that these feelings are yours and you have every right to feel the way you do. Feelings are simply our programmed reactions to experiences.
Do not ever let anyone else make you feel wrong or bad about any feelings you have. If they don't understand how you feel, then they obviously have never experienced what you have. Even two people who have experienced the same type of occurrence will have completely different reactions to what has happened, as well as even having the circumstances surrounding the experience be very different from each other.
Feelings are never wrong! A thought-pattern can be changed, which will alter your feelings about an issue, but to try to force a change in the way you feel, without changing your thought-pattern, will end up being more detrimental to your progress, as the original reaction to an issue will resurface later down the road. By doing this, we sort of push the issue into the back of our psyche as we consciously forget about it. But, our subconscious never forgets. It will remind us even more strongly the next time. |
Once you have pondered why these feelings make you feel the way they do, try to think back on past experiences that made you feel the same way. These are previous lessons of the same subject. Keep going back as far as you can. You will know when you've reached the core of the issue, because it will be overwhelming to deal with, compared to the more recent experiences. When you discover your core issue, or what you feel may be the main issue, and have explored your feelings related to it, the next step to take would be to cleanse your spirit of the negative feelings and energies attached to the issue.
The first step in cleansing any issues is to express your feelings about it. There are many ways to do this. If you are having a problem with another person, stop and think about if your feelings are stemming from an issue you have connected to your past. If you are close with this person and trust them with your feelings, then talk to them about the problems you've had in the past and how their words or behavior brings those issues back up to the forefront for you. Focus on talking about your feelings, as opposed to insinuating blame or criticism toward the other person. They may not be aware, or have even intended that their words or actions might be hurtful to you. You may later realize that it was only how you interpreted it that caused you pain, as it was a reminder of the incident that hurt you in the past. Talking with somebody you trust can be difficult at first, but once you open up and discuss your feelings truthfully and openly, while taking responsibility for your own words and actions, it can be very cleansing for your spirit.
The first step in cleansing any issues is to express your feelings about it. There are many ways to do this. If you are having a problem with another person, stop and think about if your feelings are stemming from an issue you have connected to your past. If you are close with this person and trust them with your feelings, then talk to them about the problems you've had in the past and how their words or behavior brings those issues back up to the forefront for you. Focus on talking about your feelings, as opposed to insinuating blame or criticism toward the other person. They may not be aware, or have even intended that their words or actions might be hurtful to you. You may later realize that it was only how you interpreted it that caused you pain, as it was a reminder of the incident that hurt you in the past. Talking with somebody you trust can be difficult at first, but once you open up and discuss your feelings truthfully and openly, while taking responsibility for your own words and actions, it can be very cleansing for your spirit.
If you do not feel safe in sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings with the other person, it may be more conducive to write a letter to them. This letter is not to be sent to this person, only used as a form of releasing your thoughts and feelings from your spirit. Write down whatever comes into your head. Let it all out. Nobody else is going to read it. When you feel you are finished, read the letter and see if it reveals any hidden truths to you, then destroy it. As you delete, shred, or burn your written account of your pain, guilt, fear, and/or anger, focus on feeling those emotions release from your spirit.
If you do not feel like you can come to terms with the issue you have at this time, it just may not be a good time to work on it. There are proper times when our soul is ready to work on clearing issues and other times when we have other work to do. Some issues are very deep-seated and may need a lot of nurturing and work to get through. Take it slow and be gentle with yourself. There is no need to force anything. Give yourself a break and a little reward for all of your hard work. The important thing is that you are making an effort to be more consciously aware of your own thoughts, feelings, reactions and behaviors. |
Also see:
Emotional Healing - Dealing With Issues - Coping with Grief - Why Bad Things Happen to Good People - Releasing Anger - Forgiveness - Acceptance - Facing Your Fears - True Strength - Rediscovering Yourself - A Feel-Good Project - Finding Your True Love
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