Courtesy and Respect
© 2013 GypsyJaguar
courtesy n. Polite behavior; gracious manner or manners. --- [<Old French courtesie.]
respect n. 1. Deferential or high regard; esteem. 2. respects. Expressions of consideration or deference; pay one's respects. 3. A particular aspect; detail. 4. Relation; reference; with respect to his request. -v. 1. To have esteem for. 2. To avoid violation of. 3. To concern. [<Latin respectus, p.p. of respicere, to look back.] -American Heritage Dictionary
respect n. 1. Deferential or high regard; esteem. 2. respects. Expressions of consideration or deference; pay one's respects. 3. A particular aspect; detail. 4. Relation; reference; with respect to his request. -v. 1. To have esteem for. 2. To avoid violation of. 3. To concern. [<Latin respectus, p.p. of respicere, to look back.] -American Heritage Dictionary
Common courtesy and general respect are things we need to show every human, animal and being. It should not merely be something we choose to reserve for a select few who we feel deserve it. Deep, personal respect for another being is something that is earned over time. But, general respect should always be granted to everyone...even individuals who we may feel have lost our deep respect.
Showing general respect for others is considering their feelings, thoughts, opinions and beliefs before we act, react, speak or otherwise express ourselves. It is being aware of our own words, actions and expressions and how they may affect those around us. The best way to show general respect to others is to think about how we would feel if we were standing in their shoes. |
Ways to show courtesy and respect
Speak to others as if you were speaking to a well-respected individual. Think of who you respect the most and treat everyone with the common courtesy that you would show to them. Speak politely, in a low to moderate tone, with patience and consideration, avoiding any criticizing, insulting, yelling, swearing or inappropriate subject matters.
Acting respectfully around others requires manners and decorum. These are simple rules that we all learn in grade school. Do not hit, bite, push, or bully others, keep your clothes on in public, your hands to yourself and say please and thank you.
We separate ourselves from wild beasts by asserting self-control over our actions, reactions and emotions. We have the ability to stop ourselves from doing harm to others that we would otherwise instinctively do out of sheer fear or retaliation. It takes great strength, at times, to be civil to others. When we relinquish control and give in to our primal urges, we are actually devolving, or reverting back to our animalistic, pre-civilized selves. It takes a conscious effort to retain control over our instinctive behavior.
Speak to others as if you were speaking to a well-respected individual. Think of who you respect the most and treat everyone with the common courtesy that you would show to them. Speak politely, in a low to moderate tone, with patience and consideration, avoiding any criticizing, insulting, yelling, swearing or inappropriate subject matters.
Acting respectfully around others requires manners and decorum. These are simple rules that we all learn in grade school. Do not hit, bite, push, or bully others, keep your clothes on in public, your hands to yourself and say please and thank you.
We separate ourselves from wild beasts by asserting self-control over our actions, reactions and emotions. We have the ability to stop ourselves from doing harm to others that we would otherwise instinctively do out of sheer fear or retaliation. It takes great strength, at times, to be civil to others. When we relinquish control and give in to our primal urges, we are actually devolving, or reverting back to our animalistic, pre-civilized selves. It takes a conscious effort to retain control over our instinctive behavior.
"Praise, flattery, exaggerated manners, and fine, high-sounding words were no part of Lakota politeness. Excessive manners were put down as insincere, and the constant talker was considered rude and thoughtless. Conversation was never begun at once, or in a hurried manner. No one was quick with a question, no matter how important, and no one was pressed for an answer. A pause giving time for thought was the truly courteous way of beginning and conducting a conversation."
- Chief Luther Standing Bear - Oglala Sioux
Dealing with disrespectful people
The best way to deal with disrespectful people is to show them respect. Showing them disrespect in return will only lower ourselves to their level as well as give them additional reasons to continue to disrespect us. Most people will admire the courtesy that they are being shown and gradually change their attitude toward us. Those who do not are the ones with which we may have to assert some personal boundaries. Being courteous and respectful does not mean that you should allow others to take advantage of you, belittle you or hurt you in any way. You have every right to stand up for yourself and your own beliefs and well-being, when it is warranted. But do so in a straight-forward, yet gentle way, remembering to keep your cool and be fair and honest about your concerns. |
People who are continually disrespectful to others are simply angry at how others have been disrespectful toward them. These are often the same people who regularly voice their frustrations about how nobody ever gives them respect. They live their lives in fear of criticism, condemnation and other such attacks to their psyche, therefore being on guard, ready to attack the next person who challenges them. This kind of attitude actually attracts those exact circumstances to them, as they are expecting it, since they have prepared themselves to be ready for it.
Showing disrespectful people common courtesy enables us to break the cycle of disrespect, instead of feeding more of the same energy into it. Most people naturally mirror the behavior that is shown to them. If you are still not getting the respect you feel you deserve, try stepping back and looking at how you may be coming across to others. It's possible that you may appear too overbearing, intrusive or judgmental. Be consciously aware of how you are acting and reacting to those around you. If you are still being treated poorly, after several attempts of being civil, it may be time to make some space between you and the person who is continually treating you this way.
If you want to be treated with respect, treat others with the same respect you want to be shown in return. Exercise patience and consideration while interacting with others. Practice self-control and be aware of how you are responding to others. When we speak, act, react and treat others with common courtesy and respect, we will have that courtesy returned, in kind.
Showing disrespectful people common courtesy enables us to break the cycle of disrespect, instead of feeding more of the same energy into it. Most people naturally mirror the behavior that is shown to them. If you are still not getting the respect you feel you deserve, try stepping back and looking at how you may be coming across to others. It's possible that you may appear too overbearing, intrusive or judgmental. Be consciously aware of how you are acting and reacting to those around you. If you are still being treated poorly, after several attempts of being civil, it may be time to make some space between you and the person who is continually treating you this way.
If you want to be treated with respect, treat others with the same respect you want to be shown in return. Exercise patience and consideration while interacting with others. Practice self-control and be aware of how you are responding to others. When we speak, act, react and treat others with common courtesy and respect, we will have that courtesy returned, in kind.
Also see:
Social Savvy - The People Around Us and What They Can Teach Us - Body Language - The Tell-Tale Walk - The Company We Keep - A Bit of Advice - A Matter of Perspective - Being A Good Friend - How To Truly Help Others - Courtesy and Respect - Nice Is Not Always Kind - End the Drama Once and For All - Toxic Relationships
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